Silent Cry

Courage, and something else--i summoned within
as fiercely as dragon-embattled knights pray for life
as steadfastly as lilies anticipate death by winter

as hopelessly as i wade through the space between us--
twenty yards of carpeted floor and a lifetime of regrets
over thoughts unsaid and stubbornly remaining within

within this heart resonates a multimedia reminder of you
vivid colors like your boyish blush, the blonde hairs on your arms
luminescent in half-light, the chocolate-chip-like freckles on your back

tortuous sounds--your hearty laughter, your sneeze, your song-bursts,
your potent Freudian slips lingering at the back of my mind
they follow me to the next empty minute, the yet-to-be-understood lifetime

that lies awake in tomorrow's twilight
there is courage in holding back tears, braving the days
without you by my side, without the feel of you leaving me inside

though i know crying is for cowards and weeping is for heroes
i hold on to my woes--the exquisite ribbons of pain
suspending me in space, making me suffer the unbearable lightness

of being so carnally in love, so spiritually in lust with you who
can't feel me through my words, my hemorrhaging poetics,
my thirst, my muted sighs, my yawning scars, my idle hours,

my not touching you,
my not kissing you,
my not asking why

i'm making my silent cry...

(my silent cry)