Thirteen lucky strikes—and counting
Jeprox G. Lingamen
August 27, 2008
Wednesday night, on the usual boring bus with the usual boring people. I’m soaked in sweat down to my seatmate’s Polo Sports jersey, sighing thrice every two minutes, and (by the gut-feel of it) fast nearing expiration. I am lonely, and home (sigh) is a whole episode of The Singing Bee and DYOSA (plus commercials) away—if evening traffic relents and the driver turns out to be Gabby de la Merced. The tired yellow screen of my trusty long-suffering Nokia 3410 said it was 09:17 PM on this side of busted long-suffering Earth. I got a slightly “emo” feeling out of it, something sort of “emobilizing.” To snap out of it, I did a balance inquiry on my phone. I only have “0 minutes worth of local calls and 13 free text messages,” it said. Not exactly joy-inspiring, I breathed back, futilely.
But then I thought of William Tell (of all people), aiming the one Life-or-Death arrow at the bloodiest apple sitting smugly on his young son’s head. And then I thought of me, having “thirteen,” and the potential misses that go with them, something everyone must deal with, anyhow, anyway. Oh well, better take my shots at the smugness and bloodiness of things than never at all. (And so long as I’m careful to keep my shots from hurting the winsome little life so dear to me, I’ll be just fine.) With that, I felt my self-grin burgeoned into the freest of smiles I had all day. Softly. Bit by bit. Not without mischief. I flexed my fingers and gripped my phone. Tastiera attiva. 3 messaggi ricevuti. Leggi:
(1. Blame it on the blood glucose plunge)
Ana: Prox, bring ka sud-an ta sa panyapon ha? Madala ko rice cooker kag bugas. Hehe. Kung may ara. Kabay pa.
Jeprox: Huo ah. Lihapon ko ang pusog-pusogan ni Dada.
Ana: Ano pa gid?
Jeprox: Ang mga nagkalapulak nga ibà sa ugsaran.
Ana: Wow, aslom ba.
Jeprox: Madala ko kalamay.
(2. Texting takes its toll)
Karlyn: Nainit-init gid ko subong nga gab-i ah.
Jeprox: Ngaa man?
Karlyn: Kay gapangita ko bayo nga green, wala ko may makita… Hehehe…
Jeprox: Green nga pinta na lang eh. Ibasya mo sa bayo.
Karlyn: Wala gani… kailinit gid ya… hehehe… teh, nag-abot ka na sa inyo?
Jeprox: Bago pa lang ko ayon. Girl, tawhayan ko anay phalanges ko ha? Gabiring sa kakatext eh. In one hour, kung ara ka pa, text taka. Ok lang?
Karlyn: ‘K lang ah, wala kaso.
Jeprox: Gabinhud sila actually, kay naka-vertical ang akon radius kag ulna magtext para lapit sa’kun nawong kay myopic ko. Teh, ang circulation medyo issue.
Karlyn: Hehehe… gintun-an mo gid na… teh, pahuwayan mo lang anay imo kamot eh…
Jeprox: Huo na, huo na. Registered Nurse ka na.
(3. Cheesy Chum—as opposed to Fun Chum)
Nhaye: Manugpuli ka na? Indi ko carry ang strength mo for your job. Bravo. Pray anay ko hon ha.
Jeprox: Ang swerte naman ni Allah.
Nhaye: Tayo ang maswerte hon. Hehe.
Jeprox: Oo nga. We have each other in a time when we are at our best and worst. We are us at our most real.
Nhaye: Ok hon ah, basta ara gid ko pirmi para sa imo as long as may lakas ako. Hehe. Kamo ang mahalaga sakin.
Jeprox: Indi man pagpasobrahi abi. Daw mabudlay mag-gaab diri sa bus.
(4. When Inner Beauty paid a visit)
Jeprox: Good eve Jess, Jeprox ’to :-) Bisita man ko sa Inbox mo ah. Hope you’re Godspeeding. Tira-tira!
Jess: Good eve man Jeprox. Thanks gid sa pagbisita sa Inbox ko ah. Charge complete na eh.
Jeprox: Pwede ka na gali mag-Super Saiyan eh :-) Carry mo na part. Kung gwapa ka, gwapa ka gid na ya—a friendly reminder from Myra 300e, Belo Medical Group, and Jeprox.
(5. A push too far)
Jeprox: Dada, Mabini na ko ayon. Ako indi man gid busog, indi man gid gutom.
”Verificare Servizi Operatore”
(Sigh)
I went home to a doting mom, a dad laughing heartily with my brother on the phone, a snoring little sister, Julian frantically catching Jasmine’s “shotgun kisses,” and four-and-a-half tender juicy beef chunks on a salted rice bowl. I changed into my favorite flannel shorts and chomped away, careful not to chuckle too hard on the thought that at anytime tonight I might just get a Pasaload from someone, somewhere. Who knows? Sometimes, even thirteen couldn’t mean the worst of luck there is.
Jeprox G. Lingamen is a daily commuter of the San Enrique < > Bacolod bus.
He’s known better than to “text” most of the bus ride boredom away.
His mobile number is +63 [0]921 440 9011.
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